My birthday gift to myself is an actual, sort of heehee, rebirth.:)
Wow... and the markers started on that day of the departed...
Strange...
I like it.:)
Monday, March 3, 2008
November Weepings.
I wrote those entries before as my markers for the distance I have covered from my recovery from heartbreak.
I was not able to put a last marker then...
Now I realize that it's because you cannot really put recoveries such as the one I self-imposed on a timeout of some sort. (Actually, I've always known this- but I've always been sort of the stubborn type. Sometimes I just refuse to acknowledge certain human "frailties.")
You can only help yourself. Be effortlessly happy and that same happiness will one day just make you realize that that numbness has already been replaced by greater joys and expectations and certain forms of giddiness.
In the end- Shirley is enough.
Shirley is Wonderful.:)
I was not able to put a last marker then...
Now I realize that it's because you cannot really put recoveries such as the one I self-imposed on a timeout of some sort. (Actually, I've always known this- but I've always been sort of the stubborn type. Sometimes I just refuse to acknowledge certain human "frailties.")
You can only help yourself. Be effortlessly happy and that same happiness will one day just make you realize that that numbness has already been replaced by greater joys and expectations and certain forms of giddiness.
In the end- Shirley is enough.
Shirley is Wonderful.:)
The Truth You Think You Know, Beloved.
Is not going to remain so.
No longer.
These be the last tears you make me hold in.
Sometimes, even the closest of kin, no not sometimes but always- has to deserve affection, trust, love-- they are not mere human affectations.
The land you have tilled with your lies- I have stopped calling it home a long time ago but under the roof of that cafe I have lingered too long... now this too-faithful traveler has to look for another land.
No longer.
These be the last tears you make me hold in.
Sometimes, even the closest of kin, no not sometimes but always- has to deserve affection, trust, love-- they are not mere human affectations.
The land you have tilled with your lies- I have stopped calling it home a long time ago but under the roof of that cafe I have lingered too long... now this too-faithful traveler has to look for another land.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Numbers.
I have found myself running with my memories lately.
Some ghosts decided to join in as well.
Strange thing to realize is that these wisps of faded white no longer frighten me.
They are not the monsters I thought they were.
There is a strange feeling of comfort that comes with them.:)
Some ghosts decided to join in as well.
Strange thing to realize is that these wisps of faded white no longer frighten me.
They are not the monsters I thought they were.
There is a strange feeling of comfort that comes with them.:)
Random As Random Can Get.^^
Got nothing to write down, really.
Just been feeling kinda guilty for "neglecting" my blog... baka tampo na sya. Heehee.^^
Well, school's almost out but what I can't wait for is that project with Jenny.;) And the trip I get to go on for it- literally and figuratively, I'm sure.^^
I miss dad. I miss the stage.
I can't wait to be singing again...
... just thinking. At a younger age, there were rules that I broke whose consequences I really wasn't able to take or better yet, take in. Then I decided to "follow" them. Now I think I should start breaking them again.
My line from that long-ago play is true: "Please God, please, don't let me be normal."
The last thing I want to be is that... No amount of self-imposed headstarts can make it fade into the background of my life.
Sigh... all over the place I am, eh?^^
Taking your advice, Jenny. Just write.
Just been feeling kinda guilty for "neglecting" my blog... baka tampo na sya. Heehee.^^
Well, school's almost out but what I can't wait for is that project with Jenny.;) And the trip I get to go on for it- literally and figuratively, I'm sure.^^
I miss dad. I miss the stage.
I can't wait to be singing again...
... just thinking. At a younger age, there were rules that I broke whose consequences I really wasn't able to take or better yet, take in. Then I decided to "follow" them. Now I think I should start breaking them again.
My line from that long-ago play is true: "Please God, please, don't let me be normal."
The last thing I want to be is that... No amount of self-imposed headstarts can make it fade into the background of my life.
Sigh... all over the place I am, eh?^^
Taking your advice, Jenny. Just write.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Hung Up On Italian.
I don't know why I'm suddenly aching to go to a land I've never seen before. Whose face and moods I can only paint in my head with the help of the music that comes from its bosom.
I haven't felt like this in a very long time.
Something that is akin to sadness.
Music that is so visual. And all those visions- swallowed by the screaming of the sea and the heat of a day I have never experienced on its shore.
I haven't felt like this in a very long time.
Something that is akin to sadness.
Music that is so visual. And all those visions- swallowed by the screaming of the sea and the heat of a day I have never experienced on its shore.
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